2010-06-06 晴れの日曜日,人がいっぱい。
_ 昼少し前に鷺沼の事務所に向かう。溝の口の駅までの道も,鷺沼の駅から事務所までの道も人でいっぱい。こんな情景ははじめてだ。なにかいいことがあったのだろうか。
時間が時間だったからか,高齢者と赤ん坊連れの若夫婦が多い。若者たちはもっと早くでて,目的地に向かったのだろう。中高生はスポーツの対外試合に忙しい時期を迎えているはず。
高齢者はなぜか群れをなして歩いている。きれいにおしゃれをしたグループと,ウォーキング・スタイルのグループの二つのグループ。それに老夫婦のウォーキング。高齢者が元気なのは最近になって際立っている。これからますますそういう人が増えてきそうな感じ。それはそれで結構な話。
今日,気になったのは,老夫婦の二人連れの散策の姿。笑顔がこぼれて幸せそうな雰囲気のカップルはごく少数。ほとんどはお互いにブスッとした顔をして,会話もなく,ただ,なんとなく歩いているという風情。家にいても気が重くなるだけなので,天気もいいことだし,外にでて散策でもすればいくらかこころも晴れるかと,お互いに期待してでてきたものの,やはり,家のなかにいるときと同じ・・・という空気まで読めてしまう。自分がそうだから,他人さままでそのようにみえるだけだと叱られそうだが・・・。
幸か不幸か,わたしは日曜日も足どりも軽く事務所に通う。そして好き放題に時間を費やす。最高の贅沢というものだ。事務所に着いたらすぐにコーヒーを入れて,のんびりと味わう。もちろん,コーヒー豆を挽いて,じかに湯をそそぎ,そのまま飲む。これがまたたまらない。それからおもむろに本をとりだす。それが好きな本であっても眠くなれば昼寝。腹がへったらそうめんを茹でて食べる。口直しに,また,コーヒー。気が向けば,ストレッチをやって,太極拳の稽古。これをやると汗びっしょりになるので,そのあとはシャワー。最初はお湯で流し,後半は水で流す。そんなことをしているだけで,あっという間に午後7時になる。それから洗い物をして家路につく。
とまあ,こんな具合である。時間が,全部,自分の自由になる。こんなありがたいことはない。すまじきものは宮仕えとはよく言ったもので,リタイアしてみてしみじみそうおもう。時間に追われることもなく,のんびりと,ありあまる時間を堪能している・・・と書くと,ほんとうのことを知っている人から叱られそう・・・。このあたりで自分のことはやめにしておこう。嘘ばっかり,と言われないうちに。
鷺沼から事務所までの道沿いには,いつも書くように,季節の順にさまざまな草花が咲いている。いまは,つつじが真っ盛り。公園の植え込みも,どこぞの屋敷の囲いのつつじも,そして,わたしの事務所のあるマンションの一角にも,いたるところつつじが満開。ところどころに,ねずみもちの木が白い小さな花をいっぱいにつけて,いまがピーク。意外にあちこちにこの木が植わっていることに気づき,いささか驚き。公園の隅っこには,ところどころに鬼アザミがにょきにょきと勢いよく生育している。この一週間あまりの間に一気に存在感を増している。が,この花はよほど運がよくないと公園管理者に刈り取られてしまう。わたしの好きな花なので,そのままにしておいてほしいのだが・・・。元気のいいものはわたしの背丈くらいになることがある。こうなると,いささか圧倒されてしまうが,頼もしいなぁ,ともおもう。
それと,今日,偶然みつけたのだが,ドクダミの群生があった。こちらも白い花をいっぱいつけて,いまが見ごろ。子どものころ,寺で育ったので,家の裏側などにこのドクダミがいっぱい生えていた。下痢をすると,早速,このドクダミを煎じて飲まされた。それがどういうわけか,とてもよく効いた。お盆近くなると境内の大掃除をする。このドクダミもそのときには目だつところのものは全部引き抜く。そのあと手についた匂いがなかなかとれず困ったものだ。
もう数年前に,太極拳の李老師が,わたしと一緒にどこかの道を歩いていたら,突然ドクダミをみつけて,一本引き抜いた。そして,黙って根の白い部分を噛んでいる。おいしいからわたしにもそうしろという。ドクダミの根が白くて長いことはむかしからよく知っている。しかし,これを噛むとほのかに甘い汁がでてくるとは知らなかった。李老師によれば,中国では,子どもたちは遊んでいて口が乾くとこのドクダミの根を噛んだものだという。しかも,健康にとてもいいのだ,という。なるほど,日本でもドクダミは薬草の一種として大事にされていたのは,中国の漢方薬とつながっているんだ,と妙なことに感心した覚えがある。
今日は残念なことに人が大勢歩いていて,ドクダミを引っこ抜いて噛むことはなんとなく気が引けた。いつか,人目につかないときに,中国の子どもにあやかって噛んでみようとおもう。なんとなくドキドキしながら・・・。
ハトヤマ君が去って,カン君が現れて・・・政界の方もしまりがない。街ゆく人びとの顔もどことなくしまりがない。元気はつらつという顔が少ない。よちよち歩きの小さな子どもが親の手を逃れて走り出すときの顔だけが,天真爛漫で,罪のない明るい笑顔。こういう笑顔をたくさんみたい。
親の手につながれているときは,この子はたぶん「事物」そのもの。親の手を逃れて駆けだしたときには,おそらく「内在性」そのもの。自然回帰をはたし,永遠回帰のまっただなかで,差異のある「反復」を存分に満喫しているに違いない。そう顔に書いてある。少なくとも,わたしにはそう読める。だから,こちらまで嬉しくなってくる。できることなら,わたしが「永遠回帰」してみたい。よし,こんどどこか広い公園に行って,「永遠回帰ごっこ」をしてみようっと。
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