2010-01-01 ６回目の寅年。
_ 明けましておめでとうございます。
本年もよろしくお願いいたします。
_ とうとう６回目の寅年を迎えている。秀吉は「夢のまた夢」と言ったが，まさにそのとおり。あっという間の７０年。過去をふり返ると，急にからだがフワッと浮き上がったような感覚に襲われる。記憶という別世界のなかに飛び込む身体感覚とでもいうべきか。まるで不思議な世界にみえてくる。やはり，７０年前，６０年前，あるいは成人を迎えた５０年前というのは，こんにちの世界からしたら隔世の感がある。やはり，別世界のことなのだ。
６０年前といえば，１９５０年。敗戦の年が１９４５年だから，それから５年しか経っていない。ようやく戦争の恐怖から少しずつ遠ざかりつつあった中学１年生のときだ。朝鮮戦争勃発という大きな写真（戦闘場面）入りの中学生新聞が学校の廊下に貼り出され，ふたたび恐怖が襲ってきたことを，昨日のことのように思い出す。それから，連日のように廊下の掲示板に貼り出される新聞に釘付けにされた。それがまた，またたく間に北に押されて南の領土が小さくなっていく。もう少しで全部とられてしまって，そのあとは，北九州にやってくるのではないか，と想像しただけで全身に戦慄が走った。とにかく怖かった。いまで言う，戦争のトラウマに襲われていたに違いない。しかし，この状況を見極めたかのようにアメリカ軍がやってきて，みるみる押し返していく。こんどは北の領土に踏み込んでいく。そうなるとソ連（当時）も黙ってはいない。こうして米ソの代理戦争がはじまった。冷戦構造のはじまりである。
それから１０年後，つまり１９６０年。成人式を終えて，大学院進学を考えはじめた頃である。一般的にいえば，東京オリンピックの４年前。この時代はまだ米が配給の時代で，食べるのが必死の時代だ。五木寛之がまだ食えなくて，血を売って生き長らえていた時代だ。家からの仕送りもわずかしかなかったので，アルバイトをしながら糊口をしのいだ。そんな時代に，東京オリンピック開催が目の前に迫っていたのである。政府は全力をあげて，新幹線を走らせ，首都高速道路を整備し，という具合にして「日本列島改造」を繰り広げた。いまにして考えてみれば，よくぞ，オリンピックを開催することができたものだ，と薄氷を踏む思いがする。しかし，人間はよくしたもので，悪い記憶はすべて忘れてしまい，よかった思い出だけが鮮明に残る。だから，貧しくても，苦労しても，生きていけるのだろう。そんなことをケロリと忘れてしまって，「北京にオリンピックを開催する資格があったのか」という論説を，厚顔にも朝日新聞に書いた著名な国際政治学者がいる。あまりに唖然としてしまって，開いた口がふさがらなかった。「理性」が「狂気」と化してしまった（『理性の探求』）という典型的なサンプルの一つだ。ついでに書いておこう。１９６４年の東京オリンピックは競技会支援のボランティアとして，わたしは体操競技の一部をみることはできたが，チケットを購入して他の競技を見物するだけの金銭的余裕はなかった。この時代，日本はまだまだ貧しかったのだ。高度経済成長期などという美しいことばにごまかされてはいけない。高度に経済が成長できるほどに底辺が低かったというだけの話だ。つまりは数字のマジック。少なくとも，わたしの生活はまずしかった。テレビも冷蔵庫もない四畳半の部屋は，冬になると室内と外気の温度はほとんど同じだった。小さな火鉢を抱き抱えるようにして寒さをしのいだ。手や耳にはしもやけやあかぎれができた。そして，くる日もくる日もアルバイト。勉強する時間を確保するのに必死だった。でも，まずは食べることが先決だった。
おやおや，正月早々，わたしはなにを書いているのだろう。そうだ，過去のわたしといまのわたしとでは，まるで別人であるという話だ。まるで違う世界に生きているということ。どちらが別世界なのか，自分でもよくわからなくなってくる。人間が「生きる」という実感からすれば，むかしの方がはるかにその重みがあったように思う。人と人との関係も同じ。もっとお互いに助け合って，喜怒哀楽をともにしていたように思う。近頃は，生きているという実感がどんどん薄れていく。荒川修作ではないが『死なないために』（We have decided not to die.)，もう一度，日常生活の根源から問い直さなくてはならないように思う。
ようやく落しどころが見つかった。
ことしの目標は「人と人との関係を大事に」としよう。つまり，もっとみずからのこころを開いて，他者を歓待できるように，と。
とまあ，こんなつもりでことしのスタートを切りたいと思います。
ツッコミなどを入れて，是々非々で背中を押してくださると嬉しいと思っています。どうぞ，よろしくお願いいたします。
まずは，６回目の寅年を迎えての年頭のご挨拶まで。（新年早々に，まことに妙な話を展開してしまっていますが，お許しのほどを）。
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