Diary


2009-07-03 観音導利院興聖宝林寺。

_ 観音導利院興聖宝林寺。道元禅師が中国から戻って,最初に建てたお寺の名前である。宝林寺は,わたしの母の在所のお寺と同じ名前である。

もちろん,曹洞宗の寺である。母の兄にあたる人(わたしから言えば大伯父)がその寺の住職であった。一道(いつどう)というのが僧職としての名前であった。こどものときから可愛がってくれた,わたしの大好きな大伯父である。この大伯父から,この寺の「宝林寺」という名前は,道元さんが京都の深草に最初に建てた寺と同じ名前だよ,と聞いていた。だから,わたしにとっては,特別に新しい発見でもなんでもない。しかし,いま,少しずつ読みつないでいる立松和平の小説『道元禅師』下には,この名前が何回も何回も繰り返し登場するので,わたしにとってはなんともはや心地よい。

いま,この大伯父のことを「母の兄にあたる人」と書いたが,それにはいささかの事情がある。わたしの母の母,つまり,わたしの祖母は尼さんだった人で,縁があってわたしの祖父(この人が宝林寺の住職だった)と結婚した。しかし,長い間,子宝に恵まれなかったので,跡取りとして自分の異母弟を養子にした。一人だけでは可哀相だというので,近隣の禅寺の次男坊であったわたしの父が,弟として養子に入った。それからまもなくして,わたしの母が誕生し,つづいて妹が生まれた。だから,養子を二人もらったところに実子である娘が二人生まれ,4人兄妹というようにして育った。だから,わたしの父と母は,兄妹として育った。

大伯父は,いまの駒澤大学に進学し,父は早稲田大学に進み,二人は東京でも仲良く助け合っていたという。父は卒業後,大阪の富田林高等女学校に職をえて(英語の教師),母と結婚した。そこで,わたしは三男として誕生した。いろいろとあったが,父は大阪から秋田に転勤し,やがて郷里の豊橋に転勤。そこで,戦災にあって焼け出され,母の実家である(父にとっても実家)大伯父の寺・宝林寺に疎開した。そこで,戦争が終わるまで,大伯父の家族と同居して育った。だから,大伯父の子どもたちとも兄弟同然のようにして,一緒に食事をし,風呂を沸かし,海に遊びに行ったりした。わたしたち兄弟に泳ぎを教えてくれたのは,この大伯父であった。

もうひとこと添えておけば,わたしは結婚して8年間,子宝に恵まれなかった。そうしたら,この大伯父が「おれがインドのお釈迦さまのところに行って,子宝に恵まれるよう頼んできてやるから安心しろ」という。ならば,というので,羽田空港まで見送りに行った。その翌年,いまの娘が生まれた。だから,娘もこの大伯父に,ことのほか可愛がられ,娘も大好きになった。つまり,この大伯父はわたしたちにとっては,ちょっと類例のないほどの大きな存在であった。

ひとつだけ,この大伯父の逸話を書いておけば,以下のようである。ある夏の日の夕刻,法事があって本堂でお経をあげていた。突然,雷が鳴りはじめ,土砂降りの雨となった。その雷鳴の激しさがまた尋常ではなかった。一緒にお参りをしていた檀家の人びとも怖くなってきて,庫裏に引き揚げ,わたしたち家族と一緒の蚊帳のなかに避難してきた。しかも,寺の近くに落雷まであった。にもかかわらず,この大伯父はただ一人で読経をつづけていた。あとで,檀家の人たちが「和尚さんは怖くないのか」と尋ねたら,「雷は落ちるときは落ちる,落ちないときは落ちない,心配しても仕方がない」と答えていたことを,わたしはいまも鮮明に記憶している。

わたしたち兄弟にとっては,この大伯父は尊敬の的であった。ときに厳しかったが,ふだんはやさしく可愛がってくれたし,柔道の達人でもあって,筋肉隆々たるからだは憧れでもあった。

そんな大伯父のことを思い出しながら,立松和平の小説『道元禅師』を,少しずつ読んでいる。いまちょうど,比叡山の圧力(いやがらせ)が強くなってきて,とうとう,この観音導利院興聖宝林寺をでて,越前志比庄に新天地を求めて逃げのびていくところを読んでいる。いつの世も,ほんとうに秀でた人物や思想は,権力にとってはまことに都合がわるいので,あの手この手で圧力をかけて意地悪をする。なんともはや情けないことではある。いまも,この構図はまったく変わらない。

いやいや,ほんとうは,道元さんの話をしながら,こういう腐敗する権力の問題について書くつもりだったのに,いつのまにやら大伯父の話になってしまった。わたしが成人してから聞いた話では,わたしはこの大伯父のところの養子になることがほぼ決まりかかったことがある,という。だから,まかり間違えば,いまごろは宝林寺の住職になっていたかもしれない。

そんなこともあってか,いまでも,時折,この大伯父のニッコリ笑った顔が脳裏に浮かぶことがある。しかも,その頻度が高いのである。そのつど,わたしはあわてて『般若心経』を唱えることにしている。わたしの両親とほぼ同じくらいの頻度で,脳裏に現れる。そして,いろいろとわたしを励ましたり,助けてくれたりする。

なんで,こんな話を書いているのか,これも不思議ではある。道元さんのことを書くつもりだったのに。

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