2009-08-18 気がつけば秋風が・・・・。
_ つぎつぎにやってくるハードルをなんとかクリアしなければ・・・と思って必死になって走りつづけていたら，いつのまにやら秋風が吹いている。
よくもまぁ，走りつづけたものだと，ふと思う。でも，とても充実していたので楽しくもあった。時間の密度が濃くなりはじめたのは，三鷹天命反転住宅でのトーク・セッションの準備にとりかかったあたりからだっただろうか。なにせ，まったく面識のない人で，しかも他分野の人とのトークというので緊張もした。どんなことを考えていらっしゃる方なのかを知るだけでも相当の時間を要した。でも，新しい発見がいろいろあって，終わってみればとてもいい経験だったと思う。それが７月１２日のことだった。
それからほぼ２週間後には「今福龍太論─私的読解」なるものを名古屋例会が待っていた。この間に，大急ぎで今福さんの本を再読した。これはかなりハードな作業だった。でも，これもまた新しい発見がつぎつぎにあって，ハードではあれ楽しかった。これまでとは違った視野を確保することができたので，やはり，やってよかったと思う。ときには自分を丸裸にして，みなさんの前に投げ出してみるのもいいものだ。逃げも隠れもできない場所に自分をさらけ出すには勇気がいるが，ときには必要。
これが終わったら，こんどは神戸市外大の集中講義が待っていた。こちらも２週間後。でも，この集中講義は今福さんの『ブラジルのホモ・ルーデンス』をテクストにしたので，その意味では，名古屋例会の延長線上にあるもの。とても見晴らしがよくなった分だけ，考えなくてはならないことも増えた。そのためのノートづくりも大変だった。でも，久しぶりに勉強したなぁ，と実感する。
しかし，実際の集中講義のときには，このノートを忘れてしまった。だから，全部，アドリブでやるしかなかった。これまでの貯金を惜しみなく吐き出して，まるでストリップ・ショウのようなことになってしまった。が，その分，ライブ感があってほどよい緊張感を維持することができた。怪我の功名というべきか。でも，恥ずかしいことだ。人には言えない失敗なのだから。救われたのは学生さんの質がよかったこと。とにかく，まじめに真っ正面から話を受け止めてくれる。あっという間の三日間。
自宅にもどってきたら，平凡社の本の最終稿のチェックが待っていた。丸三日間，これに全力投球をした。この作業も大変な議論が展開されているので，緊張の連続。もう何回も読んでいるはずの内容なのに，これまた新しい発見の連続。とんでもない知の地平に飛び出してきてしまったものだなぁ，としみじみ思う。そして，いよいよこれからだ，と。やっと，スタート地点に立つことができた，と。
これが終わって，ほっとする間もなく，集中講義のレポートがぞくぞくとメールで送られてくる。この採点が終わったのが，つい，さっき。あとは，転記して郵送するのみ。これで大きな山を越えることができた，とほっと一息。
気がついたら秋風が吹いている。お盆はいつ通過したの？ ことしもご先祖さまに申し訳ないことをしてしまった，と反省。
世の中，なんとなく騒がしいなぁ，と思ったら選挙だって。でも，こんどの選挙は大変だ。しっかり覚悟を決めて投票しなくては・・・。どちらに転んでいっても大変なんだから。明日から，少しは世俗の勉強もしなくては・・・。
とはいえ，このあとも，惜しみなく新たな「締切り」というハードルがやってくる。この「締切り」というハードルと思いっきり戯れ，遊んでやることにしよう。仕事だと考えないで，最高の「遊び」が待っているのだ・・・と。そうだ，「ホモ・ルーデンス」を取り戻そう，と。そういう授業をやってきたばかりなのだから・・・。あとは，みずから実践するのみ。
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