Diary


2010-02-18 春近し。河津さくらが咲く。

_ 寒さが底を打つと,あとは暖かくなるよ,と子どものころに教えられた。今日の風はほほを切るように冷たい。

いつものように,溝ノ口から鷺沼に出勤(?)。以前から感じていたことだが,溝ノ口と鷺沼では2℃ほど気温差があるように思う。つまり,鷺沼の方が寒いのである。その代わり夏は涼しい。その溝ノ口も東京都内にくらべると2〜3℃低いと思う。多摩川を渡ると気温が下がるとはむかしから聞いてはいた。が,たしかに実感としてそれはわかる。渋谷から電車に乗って,溝ノ口で降りると「エッ」と思うほどひんやりと感ずる。それと同じことが鷺沼の駅を降りると感じられる。

溝ノ口をでるときには,ゆうべは雨だったのだ,と思いながら鷺沼にやってきたら,あれ,雪が降ったのだ,ということを知る。駐車場の車の屋根やフロント・ガラスに雪が積もっている。建物の北側にはかなりの雪が残っている。しかも,風が吹いている。その風がほほを切るように冷たい。雪解けの風はつめたい。雪が降っているときの方が暖かい。

そんなことを思い浮かべながら,歩いていると,住宅街の庭に植わっている枝垂れ紅梅が咲いている,それも満開の紅梅が目にとびこんでくる。ああ,そうなんだ,と気づく。もう,2月も中旬をまわったのだ,と。急にわたしの意識は植物に目がいく。吉野ざくらの蕾芽もはっきりわかるようになってきており,遠くからみるとなんとなく赤みがかってみえる。もう,開花の準備に入っているんだ,としみじみ思う。残雪を背景にした寒椿の花も葉も輝いてみえる。くるりと世界が一回転したかのように,眼に入ってくる景色がまるで違ってみえる。

「ISC・21」の事務所のあるマンションのすぐ近くに,庭師さんの大きな屋敷がある。そこにはさまざまな木が植わっていて,四季折々に花が咲いている。だから,ここを通るのは毎日の楽しみの一つ。でも,「こころここにあらざるとき」(とくに,原稿に追われているとき)には「見れどもみえず」で,ここしばらくはなにも眼に入っていなかったことに気づく。

考えてみれば,このところ,わたしの人生でも初めてという経験がいくつかつづいた。一つは,ある季刊雑誌のコラムで「評論」を連載しないか,というお誘い。しかも,わたしの専門のスポーツ文化論ではなくて,映画や音楽というジャンルだという。で,早速,映画「Dr.パルナサスの鏡」とDVD「This Is It」(マイケル・ジャクソン)の評論を書くという,恐ろしいことが起きた。これには緊張したが,勇を鼓して挑戦。なにか,別世界にとびだしたような初体験。

もう一つは,日本の哲学系の学会から声がかかって,ある話題を提供してほしいとの依頼。こちらは5月の上旬に開催される学会大会のある一つのセッションでの議論となる。そのための打ち合わせが,つい,この間あったばかりである。しかも,議論に参加される先生方は,お名前を聞いただけで脚の震えが止まらなくなってしまいそうな,著名な方ばかりである。はたして,わたしで務まるのだろうか,と不安になる。こちは,『談』という雑誌と『近代スポーツのミッションは終わったか』を読んだ上での依頼である,という。と言われてしまうとお断りするわけにもいかず引き受けることになる。もう,いまから胸がドキドキしている。

あと一つは,ある雑誌でのIさんとの対談。こちらは,16日(火)の夕刻に終わったばかり。終わるまではどうなることか,と胸がドキドキ。小心者だから,もう,この話が決まったときから,そわそわと資料集めをはじめた。しかし,実際に対談に入ってみたら,集めた資料はほとんどなんの役にも立たず,これまでに見聞してきた情報の蓄積で,なんとかやり過ごしたというのが本音。

という具合に,まだまだある。すでに,とっくの昔に締め切りが過ぎてしまった重要な論文の原稿がある。さらには,3月末締め切りの,こちらも重要な国際セミナーの原稿がある。そのあとには・・・・,この稼業は終わることがない。

だから,ここ数カ月は,わたしの頭の中は目の前の仕事をどうやってさばくか,というところに釘付けになっていた。まわりのことに目配りをするなどという余裕はまったくないまま,日々を送っていた。一つひとつの仕事のたびにオブセッションの状態に入っていた。いまも,そこから脱出できないままである。

なのに,今日は,どうしたことだろう。ほほをなぜる冷たい風が,わたしの眼を覚ましたかのように,まわりの景色がみえはじめた。なにかが大きく変化しようとしているかのように。

さきほどの庭師さんの屋敷のなかに植わっている河津さくらが,もう5分咲きになっている。そういえば,去年も,早く咲いていてびっくりした記憶がある。伊豆の河津ではもう満開なのだろうなぁ,と想像しながらしばらく立ち止まって,こころゆくまで眺めてしまう。道を歩いている人もいないので,なに憚ることもなく,じっと眺める。こんなことは久しぶりである。

この冷え込みで,ことしの冬の寒さも底を打ったとすれば,あとは暖かくなるだけだ。もちろん,三寒四温というので,まだまだ寒い日もやってくるのだろうが,それよりも温かさの方に近づく力の方が強いということ。第一,河津ざくらが咲いた。これから春に向かって,わたし自身もまた,なにか大きな変化が起こるのだろうか。そんな予感のようなものが襲ってきて,こころが浮き立ってくる。

さきほどまで,どんよりと曇っていたが,いまは,もう真っ青な青空が広がっている。春近し・・・いつもとは違う感情を伴いながらしみじみと思う。こういうときは慎重であれ,と故人は教えてくれた。

「春近し」「はるちかし」「ハルチカシ」と唱えながら・・・・。

本日のツッコミ(全96件) [ツッコミを入れる]
_ shige (2010-02-18 18:37)

愛媛県の松山市では、土曜日から伊予路に春を呼ぶ「椿まつり」が行われます。「椿祭り」とは、松山にある神社のお祭です。この祭が終わると、暖かくなると言われています。<br>こちらの地方では、「椿さん(椿祭り)があるころは、寒くなる」と言われています。毎年、祭りの時期は違うのですが、今年は2月の終わりということで「寒くならないかな?」って言われていました。ところがどっこい、やっぱり寒くなりました。不思議ですね。昔からの言い伝えは。

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