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2010-04-04 小金井公園で花見を楽しむ。

_ 2年ぶりに古い友人が集まって,小金井公園で花見を楽しんだ。花冷えということばがあるとおりの天気だった。

小金井公園といえば,江戸時代からさくらの名所で,大勢の花見客で賑わったという。いまも,その伝統を引き継いでいて,みごとなさくらの園を維持している。あの広大な小金井公園にあふれんばかりの花見客が集まって,ござをしいて宴会をやっている。こんな風景をみると,日本人はほんとうにさくらが好きなんだなぁ,と思う。いまでは,ちょっとした観光名所にいけば,どこにでもみかける外国人(ヨーロッパ系)の姿も,ここではほとんどみかけることがない。もちろん,何人かは歩いている姿をみかけたが,ござをしいて宴会をやっている集団はみかけなかった。ひょっとしたら,外国人向けのガイド・ブックに小金井公園の紹介が少ないのかもしれない。これだけの広さをもった公園は,ヨーロッパのそれにも匹敵する,雄大なものである。春夏秋冬,いつ訪れても,この公園は楽しそうだ。

この小金井公園には,わたしの,いまはなき親友の遺族が寄贈したベンチがある。そのベンチに集まって,かれを回想しながら花見をしよう,と2年ぶりに古い友人たちに招集をかけた。なぜか,この会はわたしが招集をかけることになってしまっている。が,昨年は,わたしの個人的な都合で,サボってしまった。そのせいか,年賀状で,この集まりをやろうよ,という要望が何人かからあり,では,ということでことしはちょっとだけ頑張った。頑張ったというのは,この一日の時間を確保するために,仕事を前倒しして片づけるという意味である。

ここでいう古い友人たちとは,そのむかし,一緒に登山を楽しんだ山仲間のことである。「東京ルンペン・クラブ」と称して,最初に5人が集まり,その後,少しずつメンバーが増えていった。このクラブのリーダーが,ベンチの寄贈者である。わたしはこの男に山のいろはを教えてもらった。不思議な感覚の持ち主で,山ではとても頼りになる男であった。とくに,山の天候の変化に敏感であった。ある種の動物的な直観力を備えていた。あるとき,快晴・無風という絶好の天気にめぐまれ,2500mほどの尾根を歩いているとき,しかも午前11時ころ,突然,リーダーは「今日はここまで」「すぐにキャンプ・サイトを見つけてテントを張る」と高らかに宣言。こんなにいい天気なのに,なんということをリーダーは言うのか,と不満たらたら。でも,山ではリーダーの言うことは絶対である。だから,仕方なしに,テントを張る作業にとりかかる。30分後,なんということか,あっという間に青空が黒い雲に覆われ,土砂降りの雨が降ってきたではないか。以後,天気に関してはこの男に逆らうものはひとりもいなくなってしまった。かれの天気予知能力の高さはその後も発揮され,わたしたちは大いに助けられたものである。なぜ,わかるのか,と聞いてみたら「おれにもわからない」「ただ,なんとなくいやな予感がくる」とのこと。もちろん,理詰めにいろいろのことを考えるのだそうだ。でも,最後のところは,そういうものを超越してしまって,なにかを感ずるのだ,という。

いまのわたしには,このことばの意味を理解することができる。しかし,あの当時は,なんということを言うのだろう,と不思議でならなかった。で,仕方がないので,当時は,「動物的直観」の持ち主という合理化をして,みずからを納得させるしかなかった。いまなら,ある種の天才はみんなそういう感覚(これこそが才能)に恵まれているのだから,当然,と。こういう感覚(直観)は,どんなジャンルで仕事をしている人であろうと関係なく,恵まれた人とそうでない人とが,はっきり分かれている。ただ,そのことにどれだけ自覚的であるかどうかが問題なのだが・・・。

こういう異能のリーダーに恵まれたお蔭で,ずいぶん,ふつうの人とは違う山の経験をさせてもらった。のちに,わたしが単独行を楽しむようになってから,東京ルンペン・クラブでの経験が役立った。いまでも,そのころの記録が残っているが,天気に関しては少しずつリーダーの域に近づきつつあったこと,そして,驚くべき健脚であったこと,などを確認することができる。と同時に,そのときの記憶がまざまざと蘇ってくる。これはこれでわたしの至福の時である。

のちに,この東京ルンペン・クラブはスキー同好会としてさらに組織が大きくなり,活動も活性化した。このことは,また,いずれ書くこともあろう。今回は割愛。

で,小金井公園の観桜会は,曇り空ではあったが,時折,太陽が顔をみせた。ちょうど,わたしの背中に日光があたり,じわーっと温かさが皮膚に染みこんでくる。かなりの厚着をしていたにもかかわらず,太陽の温もりが「じか」に伝わってくる。最近,太陽熱にとても敏感になったのか,ほかほかと温められるととても気持ちが落ち着く。ぼーっとなにも考えないで,その温もりを楽しむ。心地よい。なんともいわくいいがたい幸せを感ずる。どうやら,わたしのからだも大自然と交信・交感できるところに近づいているようだ。この感覚は大事にしたいと思う。なによりも安心感がえられ,しかも心地よいのだから。

太陽エネルギーこそ,なんの計算も打算もない,ただひたすら「浪費」「消尽」するものの代表である,とバタイユは言う。自然界はすべからく,存在するエネルギーはひたすら「浪費」するのが大原則だ,という。だから,人間もまた,みずから産み出したエネルギーを,みずからの手で「浪費」しなければならないのだ,とバタイユは主張する。そして,原初の人間たちは,みごとに余剰エネルギーを蓄えることなく「浪費」し,「消尽」することに没頭していた。祝祭で展開される「供犠」はその典型例だ,と。その「供犠」の延長線上に「スポーツ文化」の姿が浮上してくる。

ところが,人間は,獲得したエネルギーを「浪費」し,「消尽」することを忘れてしまって,「蓄積」し,「貯蓄」する方向に走り出す。その原動力となったものが「有用性」という考え方であり,それを支持したものが「理性」である。このとき,「理性」の逸脱がはじまった。「生きものの要請に答えるべき理性」が,ある特定の「有用性」というコンセプトのなかに取り込まれてしまった。これが近代的理性のはじまりである。

スポーツ史やスポーツ文化論を,バタイユのいう「消尽」の概念を視野のなかに取り入れて展開すること,これができるといいなぁ,と時折,わたしの背中を温めてくれる日光を感じながら考えていた。もっとも,寒かったので飲んだ「熱燗」が,からだを内側から温めてくれた効果も手伝っての話ではあるが・・・・。つまり,「熱燗」とは「消尽」の一つの代表のようなもの。酔っぱらう・・・は「祝祭」の準備局面(Vorbereitungsphase),そして「祝祭」の主要局面(Hauptphase)は・・・?,などと少しずつ・・・・?!

久し振りの小金井公園の花見を楽しみながら,あらぬ妄想に浸ってもいた次第。というよりは,単なる酔っぱらいになっていただけなのかもしれない。異能のリーダーに導かれながら・・・。

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