2008-12-26 李老師の話。
_ 太極拳の李老師がとても興味ぶかい話をしてくれました。滅多にこういう話はしてくれないのですが，どうやら，久しぶりに気持ちがなごんでいたからなのかもしれません。
それは，体重と太極拳をするときの心地よさの関係についてです。李老師は「心地よい」とか「気持ちいい」という表現をしますが，たぶん，その感じ方は「陶酔」であり，「恍惚」（エクスターズ）でもあるのだろうなぁ，とわたしは想像しています。
李老師のおっしゃるには，やはり，太りすぎては駄目で，自分のベストの体重というものがある，と。自分の体重の重さを忘れてしまえるくらいの重さが一番いいという。あまりに軽すぎても駄目なのだそうです。適度に重くて，しかも，その重さが気にならない程度がいい，と。それは，ちょうど，李老師のこの半年間の間に起きたことと体重の変化と話が合っています。というのは，夏休み直前くらいまで，いつのまにやらとても肉付きがよくなっていて，ときおり「太ったんじゃないの」と言って冷やかしていたほどでした。ご本人も「そう，太ってしまった」と笑っていました。が，夏休みに入ってしばらく太極拳の稽古をお休みにし，北京オリンピックで帰国されたりして，ほぼ，一カ月ぶりに稽古を再開したときには，すっきりとした体型にもどっていました。いや，以前よりもっと絞った体型になっていました。「少し痩せすぎではないですか」と聞いてみたら，このくらいがちょうどいい，と言って，その理由を説明してくれたのです。
ここまでからだを絞ったら，これまで感じたことのない快感がえられた，と言っていろいろと話をしてくれました。たとえば，太極拳をやっていてうまく集中したときには，肩と腕がなくなってしまったような感覚になる，と。そして，手の平だけが鉛のように重くかんずるのだそうです。手の平に重いボールが張りついたようになって，それをかなり力を入れて前に押したり，上に挙げたりしなくてはならない，とおっしゃる。でも，腕にはほとんどなんの感覚もなく，その存在すら感じられない，という。だから，腕を使うことはできないので，からだ全体で，まずは足の裏から力を持ち上げてきて脚筋力で腰を回し，その力を上半身に伝えていくことに専念する。そうすると，おもむろに手の平が押し出されたり，押し上げられたりすることにつながっていく，と。このとき，からだは，もはや自分のものではない，なにか，まったく別の力によって動かされている，と感ずるのだそうです。その境地に入ってしまうと，もう，快感そのもので，いつまでもこの状態でいたいとからだが主張するそうです。
この話をされるときの老師の顔はもう子どものような笑顔で，満面に喜びが溢れています。嬉々として話をされるものですから，聞いているわたしたちの方も思わず引き込まれてしまいます。しかも，李老師にして，初めての経験が最近になって起きている，というのですから。
李老師の太極拳はまだまだその高みに昇りつづけているようです。そして，むかしの名人と言われた人たちの書いた本が面白くて仕方がない，とも。なぜなら，これまで読んでもわからなかったことが，最近は手にとるように理解できるのだ，と。これは思想でも哲学でもなくて，からだの智慧だとおっしゃる。からだをとおして共通体験をした者だけが分かち合える，ある種の「境地」のようなものなのでしょう。それは，瞑想をとおして到達する境地とも似ているのだろうなぁ，と想像するのみです。
それにしても，われらの老師はすごい境地に達していて，いまも，日々，発見の毎日だというのですから，これはたまらないだろうなぁ，とこれも推測するのみ。だから，李老師は生涯，太極拳の道をきわめていきたい，とつねづねおっしゃる。しかし，北京に帰るとそうはいかなくなってしまう。それが残念で仕方がない・・・・と。
ならば，帰国しないで，ずっと日本にいたらどうですか・・・と悪の誘いをはじめる。すると，ときおり，グラリと気持ちがゆらいでいるのがわかるときがある。それほどに，日本でのかれのいまの時間は密度の濃い，充実した内容になっているということなのだろう。
名人の話はときおり理解不能なときもあるが，それでも雰囲気で理解できてしまうことがある。不思議なものである。ことばの表現を超えて伝えられる雰囲気というもののもつ情報伝達のすごさ，というべきか。
さあ，不肖の弟子とはいえ，日々，新たになにかを見つけることを目標に，ゆっくりでいい，これからも稽古に励むことにしよう。なんでもいい，昨日とは違う自分になれることだけで嬉しいのだから。その積み重ね，それが生きるということなのだから。
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