稲垣正浩Blog(2009-10-13)

2009-10-13 竹内敏晴さんの「じか」とスレ違う。

_ 竹内さんが，「じか」は語れない，経験するものでしかないから，と言われたことを思い出している。

で，それはバタイユの「エクスターズ」ととてもよく似ているように思う，とわたしは発言したように記憶する。でも，バタイユの「エクスターズ」は「わたし」が無くなってしまうでしょ，「じか」はどこまで行っても「わたし」は消えない，限りなく薄くなるけれども・・・と竹内さんは言われたように思う。このことが気になっているので，このところバタイユをとことん読み直している。そこで，やはり，とても役に立つのが湯浅博雄さんの『バタイユ　消尽』というテクストである。このテクストの２７３ページにつぎのような文章がでてくる。

開かれたものの次元は非限定なまま流動するなにかであり，＜知識＞としては知られない。つまり主体がそれを相対化して認識するということはありえない部分を含んでいる。通常私たちが語り，互いにやり取りしている言語によって名づけることはできず，言い表せないなにかがある。それは＜表象すること＞の不可能な部分を内包しており，ただある好運に恵まれた瞬間にかろうじて＜生きられる＞だけだ。名づけようのないまま経験されるだけである。それも，真に経験されるとは言えない仕方でのみ経験されるだけなのだ。「ある好運に恵まれた瞬間に」と書いたけれども，その好運とは世間でそう思われていることとは逆転しており，いわば「諸世界の底」（『有罪者』）が剥き出しになる瞬間，「物たちの不可能な底」（『内的体験』）が露出する瞬間である。

この文章を読みながら，竹内さんの「じか」が浮かんだり，消えたりしている。そして，どこかクロスするところはないものかと考えているうちに，なんとなく「スレ違って」しまうのだ。どこかが違うのだ，と。でも，それを言説化することができない。もっとも，言説化でなくて当たり前の話ではあるのだが・・・。「じか」も「エクスターズ」も「経験」するものであって，ことばで表現できるものではないのだから・・・。でも，なんとか言の端に乗せてみたい，と試みる。バタイユが「内的体験」を語ることはできない，と言いつつ，あれだけ大部の本を書いたように・・・。ただし，『内的体験』を読んでみればすぐわかるように，けして論理的にその「体験」が語られることはなく，アフォリズムの手法を徹底して用いながら，断片的な詩文を書きつらねていく。そうしてバタイユは頭にひらめいたことを書きつけてはみるのだが，書くはじから気に入らない，というか満足できない，言い足りない，もっと別の表現を・・・，と終わることのない思考の運動を連鎖させていく。そうして，おぼろげながら，そこになにかが立ち上がる，その総体が「エクスターズ」という「経験」なのだ。

たぶん，「スレ違い」の根源にあるものは，つぎのようなことではないかといまは考える。バタイユの「エクスターズ」の次元が，「諸世界の底」が剥き出しになる瞬間，あるいは，「物たちの不可能な底」が露出する瞬間に開かれる経験であるのに対して，竹内さんの「じか」の次元は，Ｉｃｈ−Ｄｕ，あるいは，Ｉｃｈ−Ｅｓの関係性のなかで開かれる経験なのではないか，ということ。それでもなお，「ある好運に恵まれた瞬間に」起こる経験である，という点では共通しているように思う。つまり，クロノスの時間に開かれるのではなく，カイロスの「時点」で露呈してくる経験，という点で。

ここからさきは，マルティン・ブーバーの思想・哲学をどう読み切るかにかかってこよう。だから，いまの段階では，この問題を言い切る自信がない。どなたか，ご教授願いたい。

こんな議論が，こんどの１７日（土）の「竹内敏晴追悼シンポジウム」で展開することができればなぁ・・・と本気で考えている。でも，竹内さんのお蔭で，わたしのなかのバタイユ理解に大変革が起きている。あとの残り時間をフルに使って，少しでもバタイユ理解を深めていって，シンポジウムに備えたいと思う。

久しぶりに至福の時を送っている。竹内さんに感謝。

でも，ほんとうは「じか」に竹内さんと，このような議論をしてみたかった。後悔，さきに立たず。こんごは，課題を先送りしてはいけない・・・とこころに戒めを。反省することばかり。でも，こうして＜わたし＞の＜外＞は少しずつ開かれてくるのだが・・・。そんなことの繰り返し，それが人生。

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Diary

2009-10-13 竹内敏晴さんの「じか」とスレ違う。

_ 竹内さんが，「じか」は語れない，経験するものでしかないから，と言われたことを思い出している。

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