2009-10-26 神を信じない，ということの意味（バタイユ）。
_ わたしは神を信じない，という人はいまの時代にあっては少なくない，と思う。しかし，その根拠を聞いてみると，釈然としないことが多い。
神は居るか居ないかと聞かれたら，「居る」という方に賭ける，と明言したのはパスカルである（『パンセ』）。なぜなら，「居る」という方に賭けておけば，確率二分の一で，居ないかもしれないし居るかもしれないからだ。この方が人生は楽しくなる，希望がもてる，とパスカルは言っている。厳密にいえば，数学者らしく，もっともっと深い確率論を展開しているのだが・・・。
神が存在するかどうかと，神を信ずるかどうか，とは必ずしも同一問題として論ずるべきではないだろう。つまり，存在しないと考える人は信ずることもできないわけであるけれども，存在すると考える人のなかには，存在するけれども信じないという人と，存在するから信ずるという人とに分かれていく可能性があるからだ。でも，いずれにしても，一部ではあるが，神の表裏のような関係にはある。
「わたしは神を信じない」ということの根拠を，バタイユほど明解に言説化した人をわたしは知らない。バタイユは以下のように，じつに簡単明瞭に述べている。
「私は神を信じない，というのも私を信じないからである。神を信じるとは，私（自我）を信じることだ。神とは私（自我）に与えられた一つの保証にしか過ぎない。もしわれわれが＜私＞を絶対へと位置づけてしまっているのでないならば，われわれはそれを笑うのだが・・・」（『有罪者』）
こうして，バタイユは徹底して「笑う」経験を生き抜いた，という。そして，たとえば，『笑い死ぬ，死ぬことを笑う』というタイトルの本の構想まで立てていた，というのである（『宗教の理論』，Ｐ．１８６，訳者改題）。
こういうものを読んでいると，やはりバタイユという人にとっては，キリスト教信仰というものがつねに頭のなかにうごめいていて，そこでの「神」と「わたし」との関係がどこまでもついて回っている，ということがよくわかる。しかし，わたしのような佛教者にとっては，一神教のような「神」は考えられない。それとは無関係に，「八百万の神」ならよくわかる。もう，どこにもかしこにも「神さま」は居る。その「神さま」をすべて信ずるかどうかは別として，「神さま」は居る。あえて告白しておけば，まさに神仏混淆のような関係性のなかで，佛教的に都合のいい「神さま」は信ずることにしている。だから，そこでの＜わたし＞は半分信じて，半分は信じていない。まことに曖昧な＜わたし＞が存在していることになる。だから，坐禅をしても，限りなく「無私」の状態をめざすことはできるのだが，完全なる「無私」にはなれない。修行が足りない。
さて，ここからが問題である。バタイユにとっての「生」とは，「動物性」と「人間性」とを併せ持った，あるいは，主体と客体の区別のない「内在性」と主客の区別のはっきりとした「二元性」とに引き裂かれた，不可能性のなかで「宙づり」となったものであったように，わたしはいま考えている。そして，こうした「全体性」をつねに視野に入れて「生」の問題をこれほど深く，広く考えた人もいなかったのではないか，と。もう少しだけ踏み込んでおけば，バタイユほど，ヒトが人間になるときに犯した「原罪」をとことん追求し，いかにしてその「原罪」を覆い隠し，人間としての「生」を合理化し，正当化することから発生する「諸矛盾」を明らかにした人はいなかったのではないか，と。
このバタイユが踏み込んだ＜非−知＞の地平にまで接近していって，そこから「スポーツとはなにか」「スポーツする人間とはなにか」「スポーツの歴史とはなにを語ることなのか」「スポーツ文化論とはなにを明らかにすることなのか」等々について考えてみたい，とつよく思う。こんにちの「学問」＝「科学」（Wissenschaft）の＜外＞に飛び出していって，まったく新たな「スポーツ学」を構築してみたいものだ，としみじみ思う。これは叶わぬ夢なのだろうか。いやいや，どんなことがあっても実現させたい，わたしの夢なのだ。
バタイユは「動物性」のレベルにみずからの身をおくことによって，「自我」を放棄し，「神を信じない」と宣言し，「笑い死ぬ」ことをめざした。わたしにはそれだけの覚悟も＜非−知＞の経験もないが，佛教でいう「禅定」に接近することによって，神もなにも存在しない「無」の境地からの「眺望」をめざすことは可能であろう。そこから見えてくる「スポーツ」の「学」とは，いかなるものになるのだろうか。この夢だけは放棄したくない。
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